An Elf to Myself Read online

  Table of Contents

  Blurb

  Epigraph

  Acknowledgments

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  About the Author

  By Emy Calirel

  Visit Dreamspinner Press

  Copyright

  An Elf to Myself

  By Emy Calirel

  The last thing Wilhelm expects to find at Michaels, three days before Christmas and in search of a gift to make for his niece, is one of Santa’s elves—a cute one with a wicked, inappropriate sense of humor and a kinky streak. Alabastair may have been kicked out of Santa’s village, but he’s still a Christmas expert. And he’s determined to give Wilhelm and his family the best holiday he can.

  With only two days to turn the Grinch’s house into a Christmassy wonderland, they have a lot on their plate. Among the glitter and the cheer, Wilhelm and Alabastair might find more than just the holiday’s magic. But will it be enough to keep Alabastair in Wilhelm’s bed and life when the North Pole calls him back?

  Never let anyone tell you binge-watching Hallmark Christmas movies is a waste of your time. It feeds the bunnies.

  Acknowledgments

  IT WAS early December, and I was working on revising From Brussels, With Love and thinking about new Christmas Hallmark movies when I told my amazing writing group I wanted to write a love story about one of Santa’s kinky elves. It was random and out there, but when I discovered the call for the Advent Calendar collection, that elf came back to me.

  To the bunnies in the lair, thank you for always believing in me and my crazy ideas. I wouldn’t be the writer I am without you and your constant encouragements. My stories wouldn’t be what they are without your incredibly useful feedbacks and our exchanges on the craft of writing. You make me grow as a person and as a writer, and I’m grateful for your friendship.

  To Dreamspinner Press and Tricia, thank you for believing in me, Alabastair, and Wilhelm. The editorial team, design team, and marketing team, thank you for working with me to make my little story shine and make it the best it can be.

  Writing is a solitary endeavor, but turning a rough draft into a finished and published book takes a team. So to everyone who added a rock to my path, no matter how small, I’m thankful to you.

  Chapter 1

  HANGING OUT at Michaels at 8:00 p.m. three days before Christmas wasn’t my idea of a good time. I was pretty sure half the city had decided to come out too, and I wondered briefly if I had missed a big sale announcement or something. People pushed and bumped into me as they hurried around with filled carts, the mixed smells of body odors and strong perfumes making my stomach churn. But I had to be there, and maybe all those poor folks had an evil sister as well.

  Rosa had called me during a meeting just after lunch—which I’m sure she did on purpose—to tell me she and her family were coming over for Christmas. I had tried to get out of it, said no many times, but my sister was nothing if not stubborn. And manipulative. And when I had capitulated, so she would leave me alone and I could get back to work, she had delivered the final blow. We had to make the presents ourselves this year. If hers and Mike’s present was me accepting them into my home, I had to find something for Cassie. There was no way I could have my niece over for Christmas and not get a gift for her.

  Except I wasn’t the crafty type, and my patience was wearing thin. So many people rushing around made it almost impossible to go from one aisle to the next, which is why I stood with my hands on my hips, scowling at a row of plain wooden boxes. Would a four-year-old enjoy a plain wooden box? I could get the supplies, and she could decorate it the way she wanted. Maybe I could get some Sharpies to get back at Rosa and hope my favorite little monster would draw on my sister’s pristine walls.

  “Can I help you?”

  I startled and turned my head to see a short man standing next to me. I had seen him when I first came in; he had been sitting on the floor near the paints, his legs tight against his chest so people wouldn’t trip on them. I had done my best to ignore him. Chestnut hair with shiny strands of tinsels in it, bright green eyes, and chubby—he was exactly my type. And I did not need to lust over someone right now. It wasn’t the place or the time.

  His brows lifted slightly in question, and I finally realized I was staring. I made myself look down at his weird outfit instead of his gorgeous face.

  “You work here?” I asked.

  He shifted and slipped his hands in the pockets of his dark green overalls.

  “No. But I’m very good at crafts, and you seem confused.”

  I snorted. Confused didn’t even begin to describe how I felt.

  I looked back at the row of plain boxes. “My sister and her family are coming over to my place last-minute for Christmas.” I’m not sure why I told him, but he made me feel at ease with his soft voice and gentle smile. If he could help me out, I had nothing to lose. “She decided we had to make our gifts ourselves this year, and I have no idea what to make for my niece. Rosa’s gift to me is to bring the food, and my gift to her and Mike is to open the door and not poison their wine, but I want something special for Cassie.”

  “How old is Cassie?”

  “Four.”

  “And you want to buy her a box?”

  The shock in his voice was so clear that I tried to defend myself. “No! Well, yes. But I was thinking I could put stickers on it or something. Kids like to collect stuff, right? She could put rocks from my garden in it or something.”

  He looked horrified, and my heart sank. I knew my idea was bad, but I wanted to believe it wasn’t that terrible either.

  “You can’t….” He looked between the boxes and me a couple times. “You can’t gift a box decorated with stickers to a four-year-old for Christmas. Please, let me help you.”

  Before I knew it, he had taken the basket from my hand, and he was weaving his way around people like an expert. I followed him like a puppy as he picked up a bunch of things, never stopping to compare prices or brands. Paint, glitter, some stickers, big colorful plastic beads, and other crap I didn’t really pay attention to. I tried to keep my eyes in front of me to not knock some poor bastard over. By the time we made it to checkout, it was past nine and yet the line was still insanely long. The cashier looked exhausted, and the bill was much more expensive than I had anticipated. Especially since I wasn’t sure what most of the things my helper had picked up would be used for. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything when I saw how hard the blond girl behind the register tried to smile despite what had obviously been the day from hell.

  “Well, thank you, I guess,” I said when we stepped out. The plastic bag was heavy in my hand and I felt a bit lost, like if I had stepped out of the Twilight Zone.

  I shivered, pulling my coat collar tighter around my neck. After the crazy show from inside the store, it felt incredible to step out and feel like I could breathe again.

  “Sure. I hope she’ll like her gift,” he said before bringing his arms around himself. Who would think going out in the Chicago cold simply wearing a sweater and overalls was a good idea?

  Not sure what else to add, I nodded and stepped into the snow toward my car. It only took me a couple steps to realize he didn’t follow me to the parking lot. He merely stood there, looking as lost as I had felt a moment ago.

  I turned back toward him.

  “You want a ride home or something?”

  He glanced my way, and the street lamp gave me just enough light to see the hint of fear and sadness shining in his eyes.

  “I’m not going home, but thank you.”

 
I retraced my steps to get out of the snow and came to stand in front of him. “Where are you going, then?” I asked. Not that it was any of my business, but it was freezing cold outside, and I couldn’t help but care.

  He quickly looked toward the bench resting against the wall a bit farther away. “I’ll figure it out.”

  “You can’t spend the night outside! You’ll freeze to death.”

  An arguing couple bumped their cart into me as they rushed by. I cursed and stumbled forward.

  Maddeningly, his lips curled up in a little smile. “I’m used to the cold. Don’t worry about me.”

  I bit my tongue on a harsh retort and took a second to think. I had an idea, but it seemed crazy. Even for me.

  “A deal,” I finally said before I could talk myself out of it.

  “What?”

  “Let’s make a deal. You can sleep on my couch tonight, stay somewhere warm and safe.” I raised the plastic bag to attract his attention to it. “In exchange, you help me make Cassie’s present tomorrow.”

  Frowning, he straightened. “Why would you do that? You don’t know me. I could rob you, or kill you in your sleep, or… something.”

  I pointedly looked him up and down. I was six four to his five six at most—and I was about twice as big as he was. “I’d like to see you try, big guy. Seriously, I don’t want to have your death on my conscience, and you made me buy a lot of crap I don’t know what to do with. Believe it or not, I need you as much as you need me right now.”

  He glanced at the bench again and rubbed his arms before finally nodding. “All right. Thank you. I’m Alabastair by the way.”

  I smiled, and I don’t know why I felt lighter, but I decided not to dwell on it. “Wilhelm.”

  Chapter 2

  I NEVER regretted my decision to bring Alabastair home with me instead of letting him freeze to death outside but the reality was, things got awkward as soon as we arrived. My house wasn’t that big, but I had built it myself, and I admit, I stood a bit taller when I saw the appreciation in his eyes as he looked around. That being said, I wasn’t sure what to tell him, and he seemed exhausted. I quickly showed him around and told him to help himself to the contents of the fridge if he was hungry. I offered him one of my shirts to change into, since he didn’t have anything and I didn’t want glitter from his outfit to end up all over my furniture, and by ten I had set up the couch for him and wished him good night.

  Maybe it should have worried me to have a stranger in my house, and maybe I was a fool, but I slept like the dead. Any man on my construction crew would have been able to break Alabastair like a twig. He looked so innocent too. I couldn’t bring myself to distrust him.

  What I hadn’t expected, however, was to wake up to the smell of baking and noises coming from the kitchen. I expected even less the rush of pure lust that hit me when I came to stand at the door to Alabastair only wearing my too-big-for-him shirt and knee-high red-and-white striped socks.

  I took a second to gather myself before I knocked on the frame and cleared my throat. Alabastair jumped and turned around, his hair sticking up every which way and a tray of cookies in his hands.

  “Hi! Hello. Morning. Want breakfast?” he asked.

  The room was a disaster. Flour and sugar coated the countertops, dishes filled the sink, and baked cookies and a plate stacked high with pancakes covered the table.

  I stood frozen at the door. “What are you doing? How long have you been up for?”

  “I’m an early riser, so I decided to make breakfast. Couldn’t figure out how to use your coffee maker, though, but I left you some pancakes.”

  “And the cookies?” I asked, entering the room cautiously. I picked up a still-warm pastry. It looked delicious, but I was too shocked and not awake enough yet to really appreciate it. I honestly wondered if I wasn’t still sleeping and having a very weird dream.

  “Well.” He bent over to slide the tray into the oven, and I quickly looked away. “You said your sister and her family were coming over for Christmas, and you didn’t seem to have any treats in your cupboards. You can’t have a family Christmas without cookies, so I made some. I used up all your flour for the pancakes, but I found that box of protein mix so I used that instead and…. Are you okay?”

  Alabastair had been talking a mile a minute, and my brain wouldn’t compute. I blinked a couple times before I turned toward the coffee machine. That would help for sure.

  “Do you want one?”

  “No, thank you.”

  “Where did you find the protein mix?” I asked after I got everything ready and while I waited for my coffee to drip. “I never buy that stuff.”

  “It was in the back of that cupboard,” Alabastair said, pointing.

  I frowned and then it hit me. I never bought protein mix, but my ex Justin used to. “That thing has been there for at least four years.” I took the box to look at the date written on it.

  Alabastair shrugged. “It smelled okay, and it wasn’t moldy. It should be fine.”

  I put the box back down and snorted. “You probably also remember I told you my present to my sister and her husband was to not poison them.”

  “I—”

  “And”—I talked over him—“Cassie isn’t allowed to have sugary treats anyway.”

  Alabastair opened and closed his mouth a couple times before he tilted his head slightly. “What? But….” He looked around in shock before his eyes settled back on me. “Why? It’s Christmas!”

  I picked up my finally filled coffee cup before I leaned back against the counter to face him. “Rosa is a hippie chic vegan freak. She’s all about eating seeds and staying healthy, so Cassie can’t have sugar. I gave her ice cream once and got yelled at because it wasn’t made with almond milk. Trust me, you don’t want my sister to yell at you. She can be terrifying when she wants to be.”

  Alabastair chewed on his bottom lip, and I felt kind of bad. He had put a lot of effort and time into those cookies. Maybe I would give them to my employees—at least they would enjoy them.

  Alabastair suddenly straightened and wiped his hands on a towel. “In that case, I guess I’ll just need to find a vegan recipe. And a sugarless one,” he added, wrinkling his nose. “But first, we need to go and get you a tree. And please, please, tell me you have decorations somewhere? It’s only two days to Christmas. Why isn’t your house decorated yet?”

  “Because I don’t care about Christmas and didn’t want to decorate?”

  Alabastair glared, and for a second, I thought he would rip me a new one. Instead, he shook his head and started gathering all the cookies into the same tray. “You can’t welcome a little girl over for Christmas and not decorate the house. You need the tree at a minimum. Christmas is supposed to be all about sparkles and magic. Or is your sister against magic as well?”

  I chuckled despite myself. Who knew my guest had sass in him too.

  “She’s not, but we don’t need all of those—”

  “No! We have a deal. I slept on your couch, and in exchange, I help you with Christmas.”

  “Christmas presents.”

  “Presents aren’t enough!” Alabastair threw his hands up in the air. “You need the whole shebang or it’s not the real deal.”

  “Who the hell are you? One of Santa’s fucking elves?”

  Alabastair froze and lowered his head, his shoulders dropping. “Yes, I am. Or I was.”

  “I was being sarcastic.”

  He looked up to me without raising his chin. “I’m not. I am one of Santa’s elves. He kicked me out of the village, but trust me, I know Christmas. Let me make the holidays extra special for you and your family. Please.”

  He looked so sad and yet so hopeful, I couldn’t bring myself to crush his illusions. If he wanted to believe he was an elf to deal with what had landed him on the streets in the first place, it wasn’t my place to question it. Not yet at least.

  I didn’t want to spend the next two days preparing for Christmas, but I wanted to make Ca
ssie happy. And the shock I would surely see on Rosa’s face would be worth it too. So finally I took a deep breath and nodded.

  “Fine. Do whatever you want to do. Christmas me, baby.”

  Chapter 3

  ALABASTAIR WAS a force of nature and clearly a take-charge kind of guy, which I really liked. I knew I was an impressive man, burly with cropped hair and a black beard, and people didn’t often mess with me or boss me around, but Alabastair didn’t seem to care about my appearance. He never gave me the impression he was fazed or scared by it, which was refreshing. So when he picked up my phone to look up tree farms nearby, or when he almost pushed me out the door in his excitement to go there, I didn’t think about protesting.

  I was starting to get frustrated, though. The place we had ended up at was huge, it was freezing, and Alabastair wouldn’t settle on a tree. The completely white sky and foggy atmosphere made me believe it would start snowing again soon, but we just kept on walking through row after row of identical-looking firs. Every time I pointed one out, Alabastair dismissed it. The tree was always too short or too thin, too bare or too fucking green. Alabastair seemed completely oblivious of my growing agitation as he strolled around, touching and smelling the pines, his cheeks and nose red from the bitter cold. Even though he had assured me the cold didn’t bother him and refused to borrow one of my jackets, I could see the way his body shivered as I followed him around, and I finally snapped.

  “That’s enough,” I said, putting my ax down. “I’m done. Pick a damn tree right now or I swear to God, I’ll drive you to the store to buy a prelit, predecorated plastic one instead.”

  “Plastic trees aren’t Christmasy.”

  “Who fucking cares? The tree you pick will end up in the fireplace by the end of next week anyway. I’m hungry, I’m cold, we still have to go and buy a bunch of useless decorations, and we haven’t even started on Cassie’s present yet. I don’t want to be the Martha Stewart of Christmas, I don’t fucking care about Christmas, and I wouldn’t celebrate the damn thing if I hadn’t been tricked into it!”